12-31-07

breakfast
- croissant

lunch
- chiabatta bread - turkey - lettuce - mayo - avocado - tomato
- milk

snack
- none

dinner
- ministone sop
- salad - ranch

Horoscope: Try not to stand back too far today -- you need to make the first move in any area of your life that's lagging. Work, family, romance or something narrower needs your initiative and energy to thrive.

12-30-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 3 slices of tomato mozzarella
- dried mango

snack
- none

dinner
- 2 bowls soup
- 3 steamed chicken drumsticks
- veggies
- 1 almond cookie

snack
- dried mango
- 1 rice puff

Horoscope: Your mind is on the upcoming year and how you can improve your situation at work or in the community. A new opportunity is coming up -- maybe thanks to your recent efforts -- and you should seize it.

Love Song - Sara Bareilles

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands

I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I say
I won't write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today

Weightloss update...

Here's the update on how I'm doing. I was doing really well. I have lost about 5 pounds at least since I started back in October. Lately it's been a little difficult since I'm tempted by snacks and it's the holidays. I'm trying to see if I can get a yoga mat and see if that'll help me start up yoga again and or do some sit ups and or other forms of stretching.

I'm hoping to get some free weights and use the stability ball that I have already and work out some. The best kind of exercise for me is walking. I think that I should do that either on a treadmill which I want to invest in. Maybe a gym membership might motivate me.

That's the update I've got so far, but I'm trying to keep the weight off. My Ideal weight would be another 5-10 pounds. I hope to be back to my weight when I was in high school. I'm kidding myself.

Alvin and the Chipmunks...

I saw the movie and thought it was pretty good. They used some of the original songs that were recorded by the Chipmunks, but I just don't know how they got the voices to match without having everyone inhale helium. It had the funny moments and it brought back memories. I missed watching that cartoon and I loved the opening of the TV show.

It's a fun movie for those that love helium voices and miss the 80s with the chipmunks. If you're in no rush buy it on DVD.

12-29-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 2 serving flamin hot cheese puffs
- dried spied chile mango
- 2 blueberry waffles
- 1 cup milk tea

dinner
- garlic fries
- 3 slices of tomato mozzarella

Horoscope: Reach out to family or friends who are far from home -- your need for that kind of stability is stronger than ever and you should find it pretty simple to connect with folks long-distance.

Apologize - One Republic

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]

La Da Da Da Da Da

12-28-07 Day 125

breakfast
- none

lunch
- cesar salad - dressing side - crutons - no chicken
- 1 tapioca pudding
- 2 slices turkey
- 2 slices tomato

snack
- 1 can coke

snack
- 2 serving flamin hot cheese puffs
- 3 serving soy chips (korean snack)
- spiced mango

dinner
- 1 pack ramen

Horoscope: Dig up a little dirt on that new client or potential plan -- you've got more time to decide than you realize and your ability to sift through facts is legendary. You should know what to do by the end of the day.

12-27-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- wheat bread - turkey - avocado - lettuce - tomato
- milk
- blue chips

snack
- dried mango
- 1 serving crackers?
- 2 sliced lemon sponge cake
- 1-2 serving flamin cheese puffs

dinner
- 1 pack ramen

Horoscope: Work could be really hard, especially if you're in business for yourself. As long as you're wary of competitors and clients, though, you ought to be able to stave off the very worst of it all.

12-26-07

breakfast
- 1 chocolate chip cookie
- 1 cup milk

lunch
- house salad

snack
- 1 slice lemon sponge cake
- 1.5 serving flamin hot cheese puffs
- 1 serving crackers
- 1 dinner roll

dinner
- 2 bowls chicken noodle soup with rice
- veggies

snack
- 1 serving crackers?
- 1 slice lemon sponge cake?

Horoscope: Expect more requests for assistance than you can realistically process today. You win if you don't get grumpy -- though that might be tough! If you can find a way to put off some folks, things will be easier.

12-25-07 Merry Christmas

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 2 blueberry waffles

dinner
- cream spinach
- garlic mashed potatoes
- 1 butternut squash ravioli
- roast beef
- 1 brownie bite

snack
- 1 slice lemon sponge cake
- 1 serving crackers

Horoscope: You may shift from hyperactive to slow-as-molasses in a heartbeat today, but you shouldn't take it as a sign of things to come. Today is all about extremes and you are just following suit.

12-24-07

breakfast
- 1 cake donut
- 1 cup milk

lunch
- chabatta break - turkey - lettuce - tomato - avocado
- 1/2 cup diet coke

snack
- indian corn snack (korean)
- 3 cuties/clementines

dinner
- 1 bowl brown and whit erice
- veggies
- 2 bowls soup

snack
- 1 serving crackers

Horoscope: There's a lot going on today and you need to be sure not to take any of it too personally. People may be acting out all over the place and you may be the only one who can tell they don't mean it.

Charlie WIlson's War...

This movie was pretty interesting. Tom Hanks was great and the fact that he had three girls by his side that were known as "Charlie's Angels". He did something that was great and how he pulled giving so much money to a war was interesting. He got people to back him and help him with favors.

I thought this was an interesting movie as I knew nothing about this and if I learned it in school I just forgot about it. Go see it. There is some nudity in the beginning of the movie after that it's still worth watching.

12-23-07 Day 120

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 6 mini pot stickers
- 2 dinner rolls
- 2.5 cuties/clementimes

snack
- 5 tea cookies
- 2 serving flamin hot cheese puffs

dinner
- 2 bowls soup
- veggie
- fish
- brown rice

snack
- 1 bag cracker jacks
- 1 serving crackers

Horoscope: Do you need to clean out the closet, garage or junk drawer? Now is the best time, as you are totally ruthless when it comes to discarding things. You may need to check in with your spouse or boss first, though!

12-22-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- mango
- 2 steam buns

snack
- 1 serving flamin hot lays

dinner
- 6 avocado rolls
- 2 radish rolls
- 6 pieces deep sea roll - calamari - masago

snack
- sour patch kids
- jolly ranchers gummy

Horoscope: Do you need to clean out the closet, garage or junk drawer? Now is the best time, as you are totally ruthless when it comes to discarding things. You may need to check in with your spouse or boss first, though!

12-21-07

breakfast
- short break cookies

lunch
- 1 ramen
- 2 clementines

snack
- none

dinner
- rice
- giant clam
- duck
- fish
- snow pea
- sweet pea

snack
- 4 tea cookies

Horoscope: No matter what happens today, stay on course. The odds are good that things will go your way, but you need to be sure to keep pushing even if circumstances are against you at some point in the day.

12-20-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 3 small chicken strips
- ranch dressing
- turkey - avocado - lettuce - tomato - wheat

snack
- 1 slice ice cream cake
- 1 cup sparking apple cider
- 1 cup green milk tea tapioca

dinner
- 2 bowl veggie soup
- rice
- 1 piece curry chicken
- potatoes

Horoscope: Your good energy is perfect for taking care of all the little things in life that are easy to neglect but make for tiresome emergency runs when you let them go too long. Family and coworkers are appreciative.

12-19-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- wheat - avocado - lettuce - tomato

snack
- 2 servings flamin hot fries
- 3 raspberry cookies
- 2 date cookies
- dried mango

dinner
- rice
- chinese sausage
- string beans

Horoscope: You don't have a big choice to make, though it may feel like it. While your family and friends are pulling in one direction and your career needs in another, things should actually resolve themselves pretty soon.

12-18-07 Day 115

breakfast
- 1 small biscotti

lunch
- a's roll - avocado - eel - crab
- california roll

snack
- mango

dinner
- bowl corn chowder
- 1 piece a's roll
- ca roll
- diakon cake

Horoscope: You're a bit more fretful than usual and there's not much to be done about it except wait it out. Time will tell whether or not you are right nor not, but circumstances are temporarily out of your control.

12-17-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 1 bowl tomato basil
- 1 box special k
- 1/3 slice red velvet cake

snack
- mango
- cinnamon roll

dinner
- small size pizza

Horoscope: Today brings an ending of some kind, but that is by no means necessarily a bad thing! While it may sting a bit at first, you know deep down that this is the only way to open new doors in your life.

12-16-07

breakfast
- none

snack
- baby star noodles

snack
- baby star noodles
- mango

dinner
- egg plant
- rice
-meat

snack
- 1 serving crackers
- mango

Horoscope: Even if you feel as if you've made a huge gaffe of some kind, people still leave feeling impressed with your overall performance. It's the big picture that matters today, not the fine details.

12-15-07

snack
- 2 serving wheat ritz
- baby star noodles

lunch
- rice noodles

snack
- baby star noodles
- 1 serving green tea cookies

dinner
- soup
- noodles
- deep fried potato
- 1 piece scallop
- peas
- 1 piece cake
- 1 sweet bun
- 2 pieces lobster
- seaweed
- 2 slices ham
- 1 piece bbq pork
- veggie
- 1 piece abalone
- honey walnuts

Horoscope: You can rely on your intuitions today -- they are much more potent than they have been for a while and that could mean that your gut gives you the edge in business, romance or anywhere else you need it.

The Monkey Personality...

The Monkey

No task is too great for the clever Monkeys. They master most anything. They have extremely charming manners that draw others. Monkeys solve difficult problems with ease.They are quick-witted,innovative, and they have total and intense belief in themselves. No one delights in their own accomplishments like the Monkeys. Enjoying themselves immensely, they try anything at least once! Monkeys are intellectual and their memory is phenomenal. They recall the smallest details of everything they have seen,read, and heard. They must depend on that memory since they have an otherwise untidy mind. Monkeys are wizards with money. They are original, shrewd, and when they need to, they can fool anyone.There are a hundred and one fantastic schemes they want to try, and you can bet they make some of them work. Even when they take you in, it is hard to be angry with them, or begrudge them anything. They don't care what opinions others have of them. They know they are lucky, and they also know they have the ability to change things when convenience calls. Monkeys are virtually unsinkable! When the odds are stacked against them, Monkeys know when to quit. Their timing is superb, and they will wait to try another time. If you try to trick Monkeys, they will probably catch you. They never make a move without a plan. They are great strategists. They can spot an opportunity in any form. They never miss a trick!

Monkeys are hard workers once they have a piece of the action. The bigger the piece, the better they do. Monkeys like to travel, and they want to do it first class.They need a certain amount of excitement in their lives.

Since Monkeys get what they want without too much trouble, they may not care about all their conquests. They lose interest quickly and must learn to finish what they start and take care of what they have. People always flock around Monkeys,but Monkeys don't trust very much. They know a select group of friends that they choose carefully. Money is a must for Monkeys, and they usually have it, or will be in the process of getting it.They know nothing is permanent. They improve and try to do better, and often amaze even themselves. Monkeys like facts and they hateto waste time. Always remember, Monkeys don't care if you approve of them or not, and if not careful, you will be eating right out of their hands! They are the ultimate diplomats and slip in and out of difficulties with ease.

Monkeys must be careful in romance, although clear-sighted, they are very critical and lose interest in anyone they can't consider their peer.They are vain and egotistical,but even that is to their advantage.

Monkeys are always out in front!

The Monkey Personality...

MONKEY
1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004

Monkeys are fun and loving persons who are always cheerful and energetic. They are very clever. Give a monkey a boring book to read and he'll turn it into a Musical. Better yet, he'll invite everyone to see it free! That's how talented, creative and generous monkeys usually are.

If you go to a party, you'll find Monkeys at the center of attention. Their charm and humor is the key to their popularity. Sociable and diplomatic as they may appear, they can be deceptive sometimes - they hide their opinions of others beneath their friendliness. But they don't hide their emotion. You can probably tell how a monkey is feeling from miles away - he wants everyone to know how happy or depressed he is.

Monkey people are very good at problem-solving. Wherever you are, whoever you may be, if you've got a problem pick up the phone and dial-a-Monkey. Monkeys know how to listen closely and work out solutions at the same time. And because Monkeys' curiosity, they usually have a great thirst for knowledge. Still they have few scruples - they could be unreasonable sometimes, and they have the ability to persuade themselves and everyone around them to believe that they are doing the right things. Some say monkeys are self-centered, some say they are opportunistic, some say they are guileful, but monkeys couldn't care less - because they are also indifferent.

The monkey has a good chance of becoming famous or well-known. Whatever he does, his charm and luck will make him successful. As friends, Monkeys are both loyal and devoted, as lovers, they can be passionate and yet flighty - they can fall easily in love but will get tired of the relationship and look for another.

Most Monkeys have one fetish - FOOD. They are not pigs, they don't stuff themselves with food, instead, they just have this habit of eating snacks whenever they like, and wherever they like. And one last truth about monkey people is, they adore bananas. Go visit your monkey friend's kitchen, I bet you will find some bananas there.

The Monkey is lively, likable and witty. Highly sociable, the Monkey is talkative and, as a fascinating conversationalist, he attracts a wide circle of friends. People born under this influence have an innately low boredom threshold. Inquisitive in the extreme and forever believing that the grass is greener elsewhere, they need to find continual stimulation to keep themselves interested and amused. However, often Monkeys are too clever for their own good and can be mettlesome, opportunistic, and unscrupulous to the point of being tricky and manipulative. This is because Monkey types possess acute psychological perspicacity which enables them to read people like books. In particular, women under the Monkey influence can play rather subtle games with members of the opposite sex. And although Monkeys give the impression of getting on fabulously with everybody, this great rapport is often nothing but a ruse -- Monkeys are in fact egotistical and selfish. They tend to be lazy, concentrating on small matters while ignoring more important issues. They ignore obstacles, finding them beneath their consideration.

Playful, even obliging at times, the Monkey hides the poor opinion he has of others beneath his apparent friendliness. He distrusts people born under any other sign and considers himself to be superior to all of them. He has plenty of intelligence and a fantastic ability to pull the wool over people's eyes. He is so artful that he can even fool the Dragon -- who is strong, stubborn, and no fool himself -- and resist the magnetism of the Tiger, whom he teases unmercifully.

Monkeys are highly adaptable and versatile. Enthusiastic about everything, they spend their time broadening their minds and are especially fascinated with art. They like refinement, originality and luxury. Inventive and intelligent, those born in these years can solve most problems quickly and skillfully, and are able to accomplish much in business. Monkeys shamelessly acknowledge their attraction to money. They quickly assimilate facts and figures, picking up new skills and techniques almost instaneously. In business it is their opportunism coupled with their keen competitive instinct that gives them an eye for that tiny opening into which only Monkeys can insinuate themselves. Once they have instilled themselves, it is their ability to turn their hands to anything that will bring them ultimate success and, in many cases, even make their fortune.

The Monkey can succeed in any profession. Politics, diplomacy, industry, trade -- none of them will have any secrets from him. He can try anything and anything will work, especially if he has been fortunate enough to have a higher education. Though the renowned adaptability of the Monkey personality takes those born under this sign into a variety of occupations, many will naturally gravitate towards show business. This is because Monkey-born people have a compelling need to be noticed. Unfortunately, because they are such audacious people and care very little about their reputations, it does not matter much to them whether the impression they create is one of pleasure or of shock. It is simply a case of the more publicity they can generate around themselves, the happier they are.

The first part of the Monkey's life will be happy. The second will be upset and confused and his plans will often miscarry. Once attaining a ripe old age, the Monkey will increasingly enjoy a simple, everyday life.

The Exciting Monkey

Monkeys are clever, social, witty people and these are the very qualities they will look for in their relationships with others. Being the gregarious sort, they normally have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances who provide them with the mental and social stimulation that is so important to the Monkey's well-being. But the natural curiosity and desire for new experiences that drives those born in this year mean that, all too often, serious long-term relationships simply don't provide enough excitement to maintain their interest. Monkeys revel in the thrill of the new; consequently, short-term love affairs tend to suit this group best.

Unfortunately, the Monkey is unlikely to find a satisfactory lover, for he is not a stable personality. Though he can be passionate, his critical sense and his clear-sightedness combine to cool off his ardor all too quickly. Luckily his sense of humor saves him from disaster. Mischievous rascals particularly through their earlier years, they delight in stirring things up and then standing back to watch the sparks fly. If there's the slightest hint of danger, intrigue, or downright outrageous behavior attached, so much the better.

In love no other sign produces more charming, amusing, and romantic companions than this one. Once a Monkey does decide to settle down in a permanent relationship he or she will make a splendidly stimulating partner. The Monkey's love life may tend to be complicated, but he or she will assume family responsibilities with equanimity and good humor. Whatever the sign of his marriage partner, the Monkey is likely to have a lot of children.

The Monkey gets on splendidly with the Rat, Dog, Dragon and Boar. He is avoided by the Tiger, whom he is advised to treat with respect, and the Snake.

September is the month of the Monkey. The time of the Monkey is from 3:00 p.m. to 4:59 p.m.; their direction of orientation is west-southwest. The Monkey's color is gold.

Compatibility

(1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)

Rat 90 - One of the best combinations.
Ox 74 - Nice. They are compatible and stable.
Tiger 81 - These two make eager loves.
Rabbit 73 - Amusing.
Dragon 82 - Despite the differences, they'll do just fine.
Snake 57 - Perhaps, it depends on the monkey.
Horse 31 - Not advised.
Sheep 65 - Oh well, why not?!
Monkey 85 - Great companions and total complicity.
Rooster 72 - Probably, who knows
Dog 67 - With reservation. The dog might suffer.
Pig 81 - This could work. They admire each other.

12-14-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- english muffin - strawberry jam

dinner
- lion king roll - salmon - california roll

snack
- sundae
- dried mango

Horoscope: Once again, you've got money on the mind -- and that could mean that it's time for you to get more serious about your spending or earning. One way or another, you need to mix things up in your finances.

12-13-07 Day 110

breakfast
- none

lunch
- lettuce - corn - ranch
- lasagna
- mash potato
- 1 box special k

snack
- dried mango

dinner
- corn chowder with rice
- napa cabbage
- vermicelli

snack
- baby star noodles
- dried mango

Horoscope: You've got change on your mind and now is the perfect time to get going with it. Just make sure that you don't revolutionize anything -- tiny increments are far better for you at this time.

12-12-07

breakfast
- milk

lunch
- rice
- 1 short rib
- 1 piece of fish
- 1 bowl soup
- 1 small cup diet coke

snack
- baby star noodles half pack
- 4 pieces spiced mango
- 1.5 serving flamin hot cheetos

dinner
- rice
- string beans
- daikon

Horoscope: You should see great results from any plans that are working out today. There's no need to make a great big deal out of it, though -- others should be doing that for you. Enjoy the good energy!

12-11-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- none

snack
- 16oz mango madness
- 2 serving flamin hot cheetos
- 4 serving noodle

dinner
- rice
- tofu
- beef
- veggie

Horoscope: You ought to outlast anyone who tries to challenge you today, thanks to your persistence and practically limitless energy reserves. Try not to worry too much about the long-term, which should be fine.

12-10-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- none

snack
- 1 serving crackers

dinner
- 2-3 slices crispy crust pizza

Horoscope: Your energy is incredibly strong today, so you ought to be able to take on just about any challenge with ease. It's a good time to finish up old ongoing projects or to say yes to brand-new activities.

12-9-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- none

snack
- 2 waffles
- 1 serving ritz

dinner
- rice noodle
- spam

Horoscope: You are moving much more quickly than you had thought you would be at this point, but that just means that things are working out a little better than you had anticipated. Life keeps getting better!

12-8-07 Day 105

breakfast
- none

snack
- 2 waffles

lunch
- rice
- broccoli
- veggie

snack
- none

dinner
- cucumber salad
- corn fritters
- rice
- red curry with chicken and leek
- lemon grass soup
- green mango salad

Horoscope: Today's social energy brings a smile to your face and keeps you engaged with friends and well-wishers. You may want to take a little time off from work or school to spend more time with your people.

Seeing high school students on the bus...

There was one day when I saw high school students on the bus. I thought whatever happen to me in high school? I thought about the letter that I wrote to myself while a senior in high school that my high school English teacher kept. He said that he would mail it to us in 10 years. I have the one that I wrote as a junior. I read it a couple of years ago and thought I think I'm still me. Did I make something of myself or was I a nobody and was taken advantage of a couple of times? Is that also what happen to me in middle school? Did that happen to me in elementary school as well?

Looking back I was naive and I believe that I still am today. I had some goals in college, but I don't think I achieved them. While I had dreams of graduating, which I did, I don't think I tried hard enough and school did not prepare me for this. I thought I knew enough, but looking back I don't know shit.

I had the understanding that going to college and graduating with any degree will help you get any job as most jobs you have to be trained anyway. I've had at least a few jobs now and I think I haven't been happy since I worked in a factory where I could just goof off and try my hardest at something easy where it requires a bit of OCD.

I knew that job was perfect for me as I would have to scan inventory and put into a computer and then print out purchase orders and fill them by placing them into a box ad shipping them. I even figured out how to use the new computer shipping system to work like an older model that was there. I felt like I was needed and that I was doing something productive.

I think I only messed up one time and even though I had nothing to do I found other odd jobs to do until it was time to leave. I miss that job and my supervisor. I thought I could do that job and leave school. Instead I went back to school. It was only a summer job and so I had to. My supervisor said that the only way someone would be able to take her place is if she left or if she died. She moved away and someone else got the job. I wish I could have taken that job. It kept me fit and although it was hard work, I enjoyed it.

Reading my friend's blog today made me wonder what has happened to me since I had graduated from college. The mental plans that I had of traveling after I graduated never happened. Well, it sort of did, but after that I haven't been overseas. Sure I have seen more of America, but I still want to see more of Europe. I had my taste back in 2002 or was it 2003. I can't even recall what year it was, but I know it was the year when this war started with trying to find Bin Laden.

While I was in school I took an interest in baseball. I know the basic rules and how scoring was kept. By doing so I met someone who I still like to think I'm friends with. I've since seen him a couple of times at the ballpark and I'd like to thank him for inspiring me and teaching me how to heckle a baseball player. I don't think I did when I went to the games with him, but I was just amazed at the park.

By finding baseball I found new friends. Some that I've known since 2004. Some that I've known since 2005. It's funny how seasons of baseball is longer than years. For the one friend that I met in 2004 that was 4 baseball seasons ago. I became interested in message boards which wasn't too much of a change from talkers that I used to hang around on. This was just waiting for a reply from someone and reading what everyone had to say about a player an or the team.

I know that as I've started to follow the game I've changed myself. I've sort of stopped watching the game and just enjoy being at the park with friends. I know that the game is the focus, but sometimes just being at the game with friends is more important. We all understand the team and have the same frustrations with how the team is doing.

We meet up on weekends and after the game and complain about the manager and about the players and the umpires. It's always someone's fault and not the fans. I don't know why we keep going back when the team keeps breaking our hearts. It's one thing that will always be there for us. Even if we're far away we still understand that those of us that aren't near us feel the same pain. One sport bringing a group of die hards even if they're new and still learning each part of the game.

I know I drive those around me crazy with questions, but I'm sure once I get the hang of it that someone will be looking to me for answers. I think of baseball as my religion and my savior for the friends I've met. The best example is Bull Durham. Susan Sarandon is my hero. What she says in the opening of the movie makes sense to me.

"I believe in the Church of Baseball."

When I was younger I thought I'd have the perfect life. I'd get a boyfriend and then fall in love. I'd be married after college or by the age of 25 I'd be married. That wasn't going to happen as I didn't meet anyone in college. Maybe I was oblivious to guys that did like me. I thought also maybe in a group of friends like the TV show Friends one of them would like me. I was wrong again. At some point I figured well if no one has found me then I'll go looking for them. Big mistake. Found a couple of strange guys and thought this is not what I had imagined. Sure I imagines I'd fall for someone online or even in England.

I had all these requirements on what the perfect guy should be. At some point I just had to give up. Who you fall for and who falls for you is out of your control. I've told one guy that I just don't feel the same. I know it was bad to do it online, but I really couldn't face him anymore.

Now as I'm past my mid 20s I wonder if in the next couple of years if I'll have that fairy tale ending I've always wanted. I think I'll know when the perfect guy comes along he'll be the one that sweeps me off my feet and maybe be the one for me.

I'm still searching to find out who I am. I don't know if I know yet. I don't know if I want kids or if I want to get married. I think that the one special guy who comes into my life will have all the answers for me. He'll be charming and funny and understand me. That's when I know I will have found the perfect guy for me. He's out there and I could have met him and not even known it. Life is strange like that sometimes. I know it's bad to think back to high school crushes, but sometimes I wonder if I had maybe let a couple of guys know or even in middle school would I be with them today? Or would I have at least kept in touch with them?

Sometimes you can't play "what if" with things like that. You just have to move on.

Horoscope: The most important thing you can do today is to persevere. Things might not go your way at first -- or at all -- but as long as you stick with the program, it should all work out in the long run.

12-7-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 1 cheese quesadilla
- 1 top ramen

dinner
- rice
- potato
- string beans
- tomato
- 1 bowls veggie soup
- 2 cutie/clementine

Horoscope:Today's social energy brings a smile to your face and keeps you engaged with friends and well-wishers. You may want to take a little time off from work or school to spend more time with your people.

12-6-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- chow mein
- fruit
- corn

dinner
- soup
- tofu
- fish
- veggie
- rice
- clams

Horoscope: Your reputation is stronger than ever and it should be easy for you to wow the right people without having to do much more than say a few words. Make sure everyone knows where you stand.

12-5-07

breakfast
- white chocolate macadamia nut cookie

lunch
- string beans
- noodles
- rice
- egg plant
- spare ribs

snack
- 2 cheese quesadillas
- 2 cuties
- 1 serving green tea cookie

dinner
- pasta
- egg plant
- chinese bacon

Horoscope: Power struggles are going on all around you -- but you're above most of them. Your own sense of vitality is strong enough that you ought to be able to get others to take your side, if need be.

12-4-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- lettuce
- salsa
- meat
- taco
- guacamole
- sour cream
- cookie
- milk

snack
- 2 cheese quesadillas
- apple pie
- 2 cuties

dinner
- pasta

Horoscope: Your interests are fairly broad and you may feel driven to seek out some cultural event or show that will broaden them even further. It's a great day to explore new art, music and other creative options.

12-3-07 Day 100

breakfast
- none

lunch
- pasta
- bagel - turkey - salami - roast beef - tomato - cream cheese
- milk

snack
- chocolate crosant
- 2 clementines

dinner
- 2 bowls ginger fried rice
- veggie
- 2 bowls soup

snack
- 1 serving cracker jacks

Horoscope: Your mind is definitely on work right now, but that doesn't mean you have to ignore everything else! It may be hard for you to give friends or family your full attention, but at least make the effort.

12-2-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- 4 cheese quesadillas
- 3 cuties/clementimes

dinner
- rice
- 2 bowls soup
- 2 drum sticks
- veggies

snack
- 2 servings flamin hot cheetos

Horoscope: You need just a little more hard information before you can make up your mind about the latest decision in your life. That should be pretty easy to come by, though you may have to ask around.

12-1-07

breakfast
- none

lunch
- roast beef onion sandwhich
- milk tea

dinner
- forgot

Horoscope: You're an expert planner even on your worst days, but right now the fierce energy coursing through you makes that process incredibly simple. Anything you come up with today should work perfectly.