There is no secret to driving. You just have to keep on driving and you will improve over time. Some people are naturals and others need the extra training. On another note, you must wonder though why there were or are C.H.P. in the morning. I saw one so the count for this week is one. I was speeding a little. Ok my new limit is 80 M.P.H. anymore than that I should be given a stern lecture on why it is wrong to drive so fast in the fog or in the rain.
While driving in the car I was thinking about the future. What happens if I do not pass my classes? What happens if I have to repeat one class? What happens to me after I come back from Hong Kong? Will I have a job or attending one class twice a week?
These are all questions that I think about all the time. Mostly while I am driving. What happens if I never graduate? What happens if end up at S.J.S.U. forever? I mean I could not handle being here forever. I keep saying I will graduate but as of today, I have not even filed for graduation.
All I can do is ask myself why. Why me and why now? Why is my life such a mess and why I cannot be one of the lucky ones who has their act together and can get out? Why do I not put effort into anything that I do? The questions are endless and all negative. I mean for every bad thing there is a good thing. But right now all I can see is one good thing and all the rest bad. The good thing is hopefully I have friends that I can count on and lean on for sanity because I am losing mine fast.
If I had to ask myself if killing myself was the answer to all my problems it would be no. Watching Primetime Monday and seeing those talk about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge made me realize that was not the answer although I joke about it every once in a while. They have to live with the choice that they made and one goes back every year to thank God he survived and goes back every year to where he jumped. I do not want to see myself on there doing the exact same thing but what motivation do I have when all I want to do is just get out of school, have a nice easy job with little stress, a boyfriend, and traveling in more or less this order.
This is just rant and raving at almost 9.00 a.m. Just excuse it and if you think you have some suggestions e-mail me at: daria@asia.com subject: suggestions.
"You're a closed source now. You have your reasons. Soon enough you'll tell all." - Horoscope
I wonder what that means? I do not have a personal life or about school because I do not have either one.
