My response is after the * and they are just my personal opinions. I cannot speak for a majority of the women but maybe a few like myself.
MEN'S 43 RULES FOR WOMEN
1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done.
* Well if we leave it up for you, does that mean you will leave it down for us after you use it? And if we go to the bathroom and leave the seat down and you have to use it and you have hands that work then that should not be an excuse right? It goes both ways.
2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
* Does that mean we marinate meat in beer and then deep-fry your steak that would cover the first three? And what the hell is Red? Wine?
3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.
* I agree on it except there are a few exceptions. If your girl friend is trying something on in the store and needs someone to hold, her purse for a little while just to try it on it is ok. What is not ok is to make you be a walking billboard modeling the purse. Also if you were comfortable with your masculinity you would not care if you were carrying a purse.
4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.
* I agree but do not try to think you are all that and a bag of chips if you are drunk and not even talking correctly.
5. Shopping is not fascinating.
* I agree also but sometimes it is just nice to go with your girl to the mall. Maybe you can help us pick out something special to wear for a special occasion.
6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.
* I had better hope so! No way will be into that unless we are bi and or if we were drunk. But even then we would not.
7. Unless the answer is yes.
* NO. Except with the exceptions mentioned above.
8. In which case, can he videotape it?
* NO. No exceptions.
9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
* Yes that is true. But why do you have to be a good-looking asshole?
10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
* No I would have to disagree. If the MAN left meat on the grill and left it unattended and it turned up burnt, we can say if you let me tend the grill, we would not be having pizza right now.
11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
* No it is not so you should not be the one doing it when you are drunk because you are looking for trouble.
12. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.
* That is true except that if you want a girlfriend you had better at least have a job and some money. We are not your Sugar Mama. If we wanted a Sugar Daddy we would go to Hugh Hefner. Oh and if we win in Nevada that goes the same for us.
13. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
* Well then you should do the same for us. If we cannot cook and know how to microwave stuff, we except the same of you. And if we can only make one item then do not complain because it is food.
14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
* They are not all gay. I guess that would mean Ashton Kutcher is gay as well. But wait is he with Demi Moore? And she is a woman so I guess he is not gay and that contradicts what you said about all male models being gay.
15. He heard you the first time.
* Really? If he did than can he repeat back to us?
16. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little.
* Ok but what if we are shy? I know that is no excuse but some of us are. And what if you think that we just want to hang out as something else?
17. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.
* But why would we want lies if we are asking for an HONEST answer?
18. Of COURSE he wants another beer.
* You can get it yourself. We are not your personal maid. And if were getting something would you ask us if we wanted something? So it goes both ways.
19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.
* Well if HE made it then HE should have to.
20. Dogs good. Cats bad.
* I would have to agree with this. But some cats are ok.
21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.
* True but if you did it yourself while playing sports it is NOT our fault. And if you did something to deserve a kick there then it was probably your fault because of something you said.
22. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through "Showgirls".
* I personally do not think Brad Pitt is that great looking. But yes if watch a chick flick with us we will watch an action flick with you.
23. "Fine." is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
* Ok.
24. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.
* But if you asked you would get there sooner and you would not have someone say, "I told you so." You should also get directions to the place and do a test run if you have to instead of getting lost and then finally having to ask for directions.
25. He was NOT looking at that other girl.
* If you do look, make sure we are not looking. And do not give us crap about it when we do it too.
26. Well, okay... maybe a little.
* Look above.
27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you've never looked at another guy...
* Not if he was the perfect guy and in front of him. You would not do that to the person you are committed.
28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "cunt".
* Yes there is. You would not use that in front of a lady unless you were some redneck and just plain stupid.
29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.
* Only if we are in love with him otherwise he is just another guy that catches our attention until someone better comes along. He is also that if he is our husband.
30. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.
* If he is the one that fits all of those categories mentioned above, and most of the time we do not care unless he is the one. And why did you have to bring in the cute friends for? Does that mean you do not want to be with the girl you are with then and with her friends? Then why the hell are you dating her and not her friends?
31. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.
* We just want to make sure. And if you have that kind of attitude we should just dump you and then you would miss the best of what we have (insert item here).
32. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will NEVER fake an orgasm.
* True, but if you do not know how to please one it would take you ages. If we fake it at least it gives you an ego boost. But if we are not getting an orgasm then obviously you are not the right guy.
33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
* I would agree but if you ask then you know you have opened the floodgates. And if you were really caring you would show more sympathy.
34. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.
* Well you should know to look at the color and the shape of the bottle before using. It is not our fault if you use the wrong one. And why would you be using a bottle of shampoo that looks like Nair?
35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
* No. That is just disgusting for me personally. Some girls will do it but I will not.
36. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.
* No all dirty laundry is dirty. There are no categories for it. Learn to do you own laundry otherwise take it to the dry cleaners to get it clean. And if you get a rash or something do not come to us. If you have piles of laundry lying around that is just nasty.
37. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these people, love the one you're with.
* True. We choose to be with him because he his himself and that is what we like about them.
38. Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of them all.
* No he might not and if you are conscious about size then why do you brag to your friends about it only to go back to your girlfriend?
39. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.
* Yes if it happens naturally. Otherwise that is just odd and gross.
40. Don't hog the covers.
* Well, we might not need to if you would share it with us. If you are one of those that hogs it in the middle of the night then get an extra one for us.
41. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until the halftime show to act upon that...
* Watching football is not a turn on. Only some of the players are cute and that is all. If all of them are fat and old then we would not even watch. Some of us do not even like football but just want to spend time with him. And if you are watching cute guys is your thing then maybe you have a problem.
42. He does not just want to be friends.
* Then he should say so. And be upfront about it. Do not beat around the bush. Sometimes we do not understand body language and you should make sure she feels the same way before you act upon it.
43. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence: "You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here having freaky circus sex all night?"
* That will only happen in your dreams. And if that is a successful date than you are a freakin' cheap skate.
